Divorce has been one of the most challenging and transformative experiences of my life. The end of my marriage had left me feeling lost, uncertain, and overwhelmed. However, I’ve also come to see it as an opportunity to rediscover myself and build the life I truly want. Here are five steps that have helped me reclaim my life after divorce:

 Step 1. Embrace the Grief, Then Let It Go

Divorce has brought with it a complex mix of emotions – grief, anger, sadness, relief. I’ve had to give myself permission to fully feel and process these emotions. Journaling, talking to trusted friends and my mentor/therapist, and practicing self-care have all helped me work through the grieving process.

But I’ve also realised I can’t stay stuck in that place forever. At a certain point, I had to make the conscious decision to let go of the pain and look towards the future. Holding on to bitterness or resentment was only holding me back from moving forward. I did this by working on myself and joining different groups and while I was going through my own divorce although I had a lawyer, I also had therapy alongside this. It really helped so much with what I was going through.

 Step 2. Redefined My Identity

When I was no longer defined by my marriage, it was disorienting, and I’ve taken this opportunity to rediscover who I am as an individual. I’ve explored new hobbies, reconnected with old passions, and even tried things I’ve always wanted to do. For example, I’ve turned my pain into helping others qualifying as an Accredited and Certified Narcissistic trauma informed coach as well as a Certified Financial Coach, recently did a photo shoot with regards to modelling which I realised had always been a passion of mine, and also rented out my property on a short-term rental basis.

 This has been a chance to Let go of old roles and expectations and become the person I’ve always wanted to be. It’s been exhilarating to experiment and uncover new sides of myself.

 Step 3. Build a Support Network

Divorce can be an isolating experience, but I knew I couldn’t go through it alone. I’ve reached out to really good friends who have provided invaluable emotional support. I’ve also joined various groups, and I launched a Divorce Reset® podcast recently, which has connected me with so many different coaches that understand what I went through.

Having this strong support system has not only helped me through the tough times, but it’s also expanded my social circle as I reentered the world as a single person.

 Step 4. Take Care of Myself

It would have been easy to neglect self-care during this major life transition, but I know it’s crucial that I’ve made physical and mental wellbeing a priority. It’s so important to do this and it helps with all aspects of your life. I’ve focused on eating nutritious meals, exercising regularly, getting enough sleep, and finding ways to manage stress, whether that’s through meditation, yoga, or simply taking time for myself each day. Recently I have made it a habit to go walking first thing in the morning.

Taking care of myself has given me the energy and resilience I need to tackle the challenges of rebuilding my life.

 Step 5. Set New Goals and Dreams

Now that I’ve done the inner work of processing my divorce and rediscovering myself, I’m looking ahead to the future. I’ve set new personal, professional, and financial goals that excite me. I’m dreaming big and not afraid to step out of my comfort zone or stretching my nervous system as that is what you’re really doing.  This is my chance to create the life I truly want.

 Reclaiming my life after divorce has taken time, effort, and patience. But by embracing the journey of self-discovery and taking purposeful steps forward, I’ve emerged from this experience stronger, more resilient, and more in touch with who I am. The future is mine to define and I cannot believe how far I have come in a relatively short space of time.